Cope with Covid-19 like Alan Partridge

In these strange times of social distancing amid the spread of the bitter bastard Coronavirus emanating in Covid-19 lodging in people's lungs, here is some sage advice from King of Anglia Alan Partridge on how to cope...

Use Partridge quotes in daily life- see if they notice!

1. Practice Social Distancing like Alan

Coping with Corona can be very complex- but one thing is certain- you must repeat must- maintain your social distancing. Practice like Alan and get a good distance and avoid breathing or coughing on your friend or foe.

Go on give me a second series you swine










2. Wash your hands after your morning toilet like Alan

Alan is very clean, the cleanest person you have probably ever met- this is down to an aggressive body scrub that turns soap from mini sized frisbees to actual sized paracetamol.

You must remember to wash your hands- after the pee or poo has landed, do make sure that you're clean handed. Plus wash them before and after anything...

Thick or not, click here for an Alan handwashing video

3. Stay at HOME like Alan

Yes, the mortgage crippled him, but Alan is helping Britain by staying at home to prevent the spread of Covid-19. He has been enjoying his rather salubrious digs... and certainly will not travelling to around Britain to the spiritual home of the needy, also the home of cotton and guns, Manchester.

Nope, he'll be practising CPR in the comfort of his front room in sunny East Anglia... and so should you be... but just where you live... not Norwich... unless you actually do live in Norwich, then it's fine.




4. Practice Safe Shopping Like Alan

The above video needs no introduction... but with the British economy currently collapsing like a warm Easter Egg, we will still need to shop in our local supermarkets to get vital supplies like cheese, chops, chocs, cheap chicken and chives... just keep your distance...

So there you have it- follow these rules- don't be a dwad and carry on usual- we've all seen them crowding around the ice cream van in those undesirable areas- sleep walking into a Coronavirus nightmare- follow the rules so that this hell can be over and forgotten about like Carol and her narcissistic sports pimp boyfriend...

Access the information and jokes about I'm Alan Partridge, go on give me a second click you swine