Tony Hayers- Character Profile- I'm Alan Partridge 1

You've not witnessed evil til you've stared into the eyes of the man who's just cancelled your second series...

Tony Hayers- David Schneider

Tony Hayers is Alan's nemesis, and the subject of many flashbacks we see throughout the series where Alan Partridge offers him a lap dance in exchange for a second series. However, Tony Hayers is a tough man with an evolution not revolution policy. He even rejects such crackign programme ideas as Monkey Tennis, Cooking in Prison and Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank.

Tony Hayers, Chief Commissioning Editor, BBC

In the final episode of the series, Towering Alan, Tony Hayers fatefully dies whilst taking the aerial of his roof, leaving Alan wide open to return to the BBC- Jurassic Park!

Tony Hayers is played by David Schneider who starred opposite Steve Coogan in On The Hour and The Day Today. He also wrote the screenplay for Death of Stalin with Armando Iannucci. He is known as a director, actor, writer and comedian.

Peter Baxendale-Thomas- Character Profile- I'm Alan Partridge 1

You serve simply to inflame the farmers...

Mooooooooo!!!!!!

Peter Baxendale-Thomas (Chris Morris)

You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth click here

Peter Baxendale-Thomas is the representative of the Norfolk Farmer's Union who comes on to Alan Partridge's show to hear Alan's supposed apology for comments he made about farming methods- they produce infected spinal columns in a bap- Alan needs to get out of this rather ugly hole...

Alan doesn't agree- he calls Peter a big posh sod with plums in his mouth, and the plums have mutated and have got beaks! He also states that farmers have those big sheds that nobody is allowed in- inside are 20 foot high chickens!

This episode was played during the height of the CJD outbreak so Alan's distaste for farmers comes down to this. Baxendale-Thomas grows tired of Alan's insults and eventually leaves the interview, leaving Lynn to take over.

Peter Baxendale-Thomas is played by the absolute genius Chris Morris who worked with Steve Coogan on On the Hour and The Day Today. He is widely known for his excellent, almost as funny as Alan Partridge series Brass Eye amongst many other productions such as Four Lions. 

Jill- Character Profile- I'm Alan Partridge

Do you know what I used to think when I used to see you in reception? I used to think oooooooo she's nicer than my wife!

Jill- the receptionist from Peartree Productions

More info on Alan Attraction- the episode Jill stars in

Jill is Alan's favourite, she could even be described as a 40 year old scorcher and work for Sol Dangerfield's casting agency! She was formerly Alan's receptionist at Peartree Productions, for whom Alan always held a slight liking to. When Alan asked 'Jill, do you like me sex wise?' when she answered in the affirmative, a romance was born... for an afternoon.

Jill you're so dirrrrty

A trip to the owl sanctuary followed by a romantic buffet supper on a 12 inch plate at Linton Travel Tavern resulted. However, when she had the temerity to get chocolate mousse not only on Alan Partridge, but also on the bedsheets and the valance (the skirt thing round the side of the bed), this could have been misconstrued as a dirty protest by an unwitting member of the hotel, and Alan needed to act immediately.

Jill, unfortunately for her, found herself sacked (she was being made redundant anyway) and in a taxi home, sadly puffing on a cigarette... it started with a kiss....

Jill is played by Julia Deakin, who has also appeared in Spaced, Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead

Cope with Covid-19 like Alan Partridge

In these strange times of social distancing amid the spread of the bitter bastard Coronavirus emanating in Covid-19 lodging in people's lungs, here is some sage advice from King of Anglia Alan Partridge on how to cope...

Use Partridge quotes in daily life- see if they notice!

1. Practice Social Distancing like Alan

Coping with Corona can be very complex- but one thing is certain- you must repeat must- maintain your social distancing. Practice like Alan and get a good distance and avoid breathing or coughing on your friend or foe.

Go on give me a second series you swine










2. Wash your hands after your morning toilet like Alan

Alan is very clean, the cleanest person you have probably ever met- this is down to an aggressive body scrub that turns soap from mini sized frisbees to actual sized paracetamol.

You must remember to wash your hands- after the pee or poo has landed, do make sure that you're clean handed. Plus wash them before and after anything...

Thick or not, click here for an Alan handwashing video

3. Stay at HOME like Alan

Yes, the mortgage crippled him, but Alan is helping Britain by staying at home to prevent the spread of Covid-19. He has been enjoying his rather salubrious digs... and certainly will not travelling to around Britain to the spiritual home of the needy, also the home of cotton and guns, Manchester.

Nope, he'll be practising CPR in the comfort of his front room in sunny East Anglia... and so should you be... but just where you live... not Norwich... unless you actually do live in Norwich, then it's fine.




4. Practice Safe Shopping Like Alan

The above video needs no introduction... but with the British economy currently collapsing like a warm Easter Egg, we will still need to shop in our local supermarkets to get vital supplies like cheese, chops, chocs, cheap chicken and chives... just keep your distance...

So there you have it- follow these rules- don't be a dwad and carry on usual- we've all seen them crowding around the ice cream van in those undesirable areas- sleep walking into a Coronavirus nightmare- follow the rules so that this hell can be over and forgotten about like Carol and her narcissistic sports pimp boyfriend...

Access the information and jokes about I'm Alan Partridge, go on give me a second click you swine

I'm Alan Partridge 1- Towering Alan

This is final episode of the excellent series I'm Alan Partridge. Alan is obviously very affected by the events of the previous episode To Kill a Mocking Alan where crazed fan Jed Maxwell pretty much kidnapped him in his horrific fan room!

Click for the quotes from I'm Alan Partridge series 1

Here are the plotlines from I'm Alan Partridge series 1

We open by seeing Lynn trying to calm Alan down with his fears of being assassinated-a hangover from the previous episode. At least he is cheered by the fact that his sleeveless jacket gives the appearance of a bullet proof jacket- the attacker would be forced to take a head shot, and he wouldn't even know what had happened!

Alan is very much cheered by the fact that Chief Commissioning editor of the BBC Tony Hayers has actually died whilst removing an aerial from his roof- Spiceworld- things are looking up for Alan! Even better than that is the fact that Chris Feather, who likes Alan (God knows why) has taken up the role! 

Onto judging the vegetable contest at The Swaffham Country Fayre- he absolutely loves the plums- just put nice plums- but is confused by the protusions from the onions... are they a good things or a bad thing? They would make an excellent murder weapon- beat someone to death then eat the evidence!

Sadly, Alan then attends the funeral of Tony Hayers (you've never looked evil in the face until you've looked into the eyes of the man who has just cancelled your second series). He eventually manages to speak to new BBC boss Chris Feather, who tells Alan that he needs to back on TV- Jurassic Park!

The series ends on a strange note in Chris Feather's office. Chris promises Alan a new 5 year contract with the BBC, on a salary of £200,000 per year... but dies just before he signs it... however, in a sinister way, Alan grabs Chris' hand and signs it anyway! 

So after a terrible start for Alan, at least things are looking up by the end of the series! However, things do change quite alot for Alan Partridge before the start of I'm Alan Partridge series 2

Don't forget to check out the quotes from series one of I'm Alan Partridge.. and use them in your everyday life and see if people notice

I'm Alan Partridge 1- To Kill A Mocking Alan

I'm just a fan Alan, your biggest fan... oh my god Alan always wanted lots of fans but not like crazed superfan Jed Maxwell!

Click to enjoy the quotes from this episode and others from I'm Alan Partridge 1

Click to enjoy the other episodes of I'm Alan Partridge series 1!

So in To Kill A Mocking Alan, we have two major plot lines that converge and explode as if a munitions dump has been hidden under Norwich City Hall.

Scary Irish Men

On the one hand, Alan welcomes two TV executives from RTE in Ireland as they are interested in employing him to host a show in Ireland- der's more to Oireland... den dis... so obviously he is keen to impress them- so much so that he denies living in the Linton Travel Tavern and is similarly incredibly rude to Susan the hotel manager -Tea or coffee... Tea or coffee...

Jed Maxwell- Superfan

The second major plotline is that Alan is putting on An Evening with Alan Partridge with Celebrity Guest Star- Sue Cook... er... just put with Sue Cook... and in attendance is Jed Maxwell- Alan's biggest fan. 

An Evening with Alan Partridge

It's basically a TV show that isn't on TV... Alan hosts a kind of after dinner event where he basically does his Knowing Me Knowing You just without any guests and merely fields questions from his audience- well questions he wants to answer- Has your career gone off the rails a bit... er no not you, the lady behind you... I think most people were there to see Sue Cook, but most stay out of politeness!

When Alan sees the Irish executives (played by Graham Linehan and Athur Matthews the creators of Father Ted) leaving, he desperately runs to stop them in the lobby.

Jed Maxwell's bungalow

Following a brief exchange in the lobby where Alan again denies he lives in the hotel, Jed Maxwell jumps in and says that he lives with Alan in his bungalow- Alan replies... we're not gay! There's nothing wrong with it, but I believe God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. 

When they arrive at Jed's bungalow, he makes them a drink in a coffee jar, a mug, a milk jug and an Ariel-a-tor (something I had forgotten had ever existed!), then Alan accidentally opens the door to the horrific site of his fan room...

I was genuinely scared for Alan! Thankfully he makes a quick getaway, but not before saying- no way you big spastic you're a mentalist! at Jed's suggestion at having a pint next weekend!

Sophie- Character Profile- I'm Alan Partridge (Sally Phillips)

Sally Phillips plays the cheeky fun loving Sophie from I'm Alan Partridge in an excellent way- so much so that sometimes it is not entirely clear as to whether Phillips is laughing when she shouldn't be, but really it's just superb acting. After several minor roles, you could argue that I'm Alan Partridge was her first major role. She went on to play much larger roles in Smack the Pony, Bridget Jones and Green Wing.

Check out the rest of the Alan Partridge characters!

However, the role we love her for is playing the young Sophie. This seemingly is a summer job for Sophie as she doesn't seem to the take the role too seriously. Instead, she revels in the depths of Alan's stupidity, and seems bemused at the depths of his oddities. She is a great foil for Steve Coogan's gags as Partridge, making them even funnier.

Mr P. Nesshead
One of my favourite bits was when she has to add to the list the ever growing amount of crank callers who have contacted Alan- Mr P.Nesshead, Mr T. Osser (doesn't even work) amongst a range of others. I loved it how she pretends not to realise the joke, when obviously she absolutely does!

Phillips and James Lance (Ben) have a great on screen chemistry and this contributes to the farce of Alan Partridge as he becomes alot more jealous of the pair as the series progresses. I personally wish Sally Phillips could have been used more in I'm Alan Partridge 2, but she was far too well known by the time it was filmed.